Who doesn't love a wedding?

Tell the truth... did you dream about your wedding when you were a child? Did you dream of the flowing white dress you'd wear with a mile long train and the pink roses you'd carry in a nosegay bouquet? Maybe you figured you'd feast on lobster bisque or hot dogs and macaroni and cheese, depending on how old you were when you planned the ceremony:) I know I fantasized about my wedding and rehearsed it over and over when I was a kid! When I was a small child I used to love to look at an old oil painting of my mom in her wedding dress. She posed for the picture and it was painted on a real canvas. I thought she looked elegant, beautiful, and the dress was extremely regal. I saw her in the picture in a way she never appeared in "real" life. I was captivated by it. It hung in the exact same spot over the couch, on my grandparents wall, for years. Since I can remember back - it was there. From an early age, I was determined that I, too, would wear that wedding dress, pose for my own painting, and have it displayed in my parent's home. (I wore the dress when I got married in 2004, the painting was much too expensive at today's prices.)
Anyway, the point is, you would be hard pressed to find one girl, young or old, that hasn't dreamt of her special day. They can see it, smell it, feel it. Most little girls want to be a Princess, and Disney has made quite a pretty (gold covered) penny with the "every girl wants to be a Princess" marketing. And anyone who has read any fairytales knows that Princessed come with Princes, duh! There is always a royal wedding with birds chirping, dolphins jumping, and choirs singing...and of course - we all live happily ever after. Who wouldn't want to get married right?
No wonder there's the show Bridezilla (http://www.we.tv/shows/bridezillas/), a comical view of women chasing the elusive dream of their perfect wedding.
We all want the wedding, but do we want the marriage? We all know people who have gotten married only to divorce soon after, no doubt $20,000 in debt. Why do we do that? According to The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, " marriages formed today have about a 41 to 43 percent chance of ending in divorce" http://www.family.org/lifechallenges/A000001093.cfm
Instead, perhaps our focus should be on finding the right man to marry, and not the right buttercream frosting. Perhaps women "jump" to get married, just to get a crack at that perfect wedding. Perhaps, women are made to think by society that they must get married (you know, to be that Disney Princess). Most family-oriented TV shows (watched by our young girls)sitcoms, dramas, even The Simpsons, all show happily married couples as their stars, just plotting away at their "normal" lives. What is a girl to think? That growing up, getting married, and (most-likely) having children is the expected course of life for women. Even in shows that portray wives/moms with jobs, they are more often involved in the family than their job. Our daughters are made to believe their destiny lies in marriage - what a waste. We should be teaching them that their destinies lie in themselves! Hey, don't get me wrong - I'm married. And I LOVE it! I wouldn't change a single thing - but I don't think women should feel like they HAVE to get married. Marriage or not - be who you are. Marriage is NOT a pre-requisite for happiness. You can still be a wonderful women if you aren't married. *CHOICE*
My daughter, who is 6 years old, went through the Princess phase of life. Walking around with a tiara and "high heel" shoes on, she was a walking, talking Disney advertisement. A former flower girl, she wanted to be a bride for Halloween two years ago. But, convinced she wouldn't be scary enough, she instead changed her mind and transformed herself into The Corpse Bride, complete with zombie face paint and silk plants "growing" from all over her body. So, needless to say, she hasn't been captivated by wedding-mania just yet. But if, and most likely when, she goes wedding-wacky, I'll try to remind her that more important than the wedding is the *CHOICE* I'll tell her that being married if wonderful, and the right CHOICE for me - but she is free to choose to do as she wants. I will never expect marriage of her. I will never be the "pushy" mom who insists her daughter date the nice boy down the street, or the cousin of my canasta partner. She can count on the fact that I won't ask her when the grandbabies are coming or whisper "tick-tock" to remind her of her biological clock - I love her just the way she is, wedding or no wedding. That's the important lesson.